Disclaimer: spoilers ahead
“Before i watched this film I found my summer to be quite boring, I was doing nothing, just waiting for summer to end. After watching it i realised, we only have so little time with loved ones and friends. I learned to love and enjoy what was right in front of me this whole time. From the moment the apricots start growing on trees in spring, until that last leaf falls. Romanticise the summer, read the book and watch the film a thousand times.
I have spent countless hours questioning how to express my thoughts on this film and book, worrying that I might later regret not saying enough. Endless nights were filled with doubt about sharing my opinion publicly, though everyone around me encouraged me to do so. My indecision had me jumping from topic to topic, leaving me feeling stuck. In the end, I decided to write as if no one would read it and to silence my self-doubt. It worked. I hope you enjoy my perspective on this film and book and understand why I believe they are the most beautiful pieces ever created.
This film makes me illiterate, quiet, sad.. yet it still comforts me, it’s comforting because it gives you the feeling of being understood without having to go through the uncomfortable feeling of explaining it.
For me this is the perfect representation of an idyllic Italian summer, something that I long for all the time. The vila and the scenery play a huge part into what makes me love this film so much. The Vila has so much impact. Every corner tells us a different story. For example the breakfast table where Elio’s family gathers each morning, such a genuine family love moment captured. So simple but yet so easily cherished and admired by me. Its a place where Elio can escape the expectations of his family and immerse himself in just “enjoying summer”. For Oliver, it is a whole new world, a different language, culture. A place he has never known. It is full of sunlight, with entire evenings spent in the company of loved ones. All I could really think about how Oliver must have gotten so much inspiration from that one summer in 1983.
The presence of so many people around, brings a sense of comfort and a familiar feeling that takes me back to my childhood days.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F18fadd47-ff45-4b8d-bb9f-da4fed81943a_1280x706.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5b620e67-5f51-483d-9b54-c23918eb8c50_1280x706.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F77b4ad62-bb89-40fc-877e-bddc88365260_1280x706.jpeg)
The opening scene is one of my favorite moments. It introduces us to one of the best soundtracks. It's a feeling of comfort and nostalgia that's hard to put into words, but it's there in every bit of the film. Time slows down, and every detail is filled with so much meaning. It is almost like feeling homesick for a place you've never been to, a place that exists only in your dreams, just like looking at your old photos from your childhood—a place that you can never quite return to.
Call Me By Your Name isn't just a film; it's a part of me, a piece of my heart that I'll carry with me always. The first time I watched it, I was filled with anticipation and uncertainty. I've always been drawn to movies with the uncomfortable but also comforting feeling of nostalgia and melancholy, with those beautiful monologues that you keep thinking about no matter how long it has been since you watched the movie. In a way, I knew I would love this film, but I wasn't prepared for how much I would love it.
This movie is a topic of conversation in so many ways. It has been a comfort movie for all of my friends, our go-to summer sleepover film, but also, as individuals, a film that made us cry through our heartbreaks, a film that many relate to.
The ending might be the most heartbreaking, but how fortunate are they to have a bond that makes saying goodbye so difficult.
is it better to speak or to die?
a personal opinion
I am always looking for deeper meanings in things and wind up disappointed. But I really want to believe there is answer to the question; “is it better to speak or to die?”. I know someday I will figure out, and I will no longer wonder my “what if’s” with whatever decision I make. Whether this is about speaking or dying. Maybe it won’t be in question at all, and i will live in the in-between. Until then, I continue to search for clarity along all this uncertainty, because who am i not to speak?
I love to open up and share every part of me, reach out and tell someone how I feel. But unfortunately speaking requires courage, courage that I don’t seem to have on some days. I question if there’s going to be consequences because I shared a part of me and I spoke. Or I might misinterpret something wrong. What if I'm not enough or I say too much, what if someone judges me, makes me silent, and takes away a part of me that has been waiting to be shared, do I really want to fully put myself out there, or do I just want someone to understand me? and so on. But I am an honest person, and every word leaving my mouth is honest, why is it so hard to be honest now? What if no person deserves to die, and even that includes me?
this is what I would’ve said years ago, now I did speak and now the whole idea behind this was to maybe convince you just by writing this;
This question isn’t literally asking if you want to die. Dying in this sense is a heavy weight on your shoulders, with even more "what if" questions about what you could’ve been, or what the both of you could’ve shared. I know you want understanding; you want them to know how you feel. Are you okay with coming off as uninterested because you’re keeping parts from yourself, Is silence worth the burden of all those unanswered questions, of all the potential that never came to be? What about the nights spent wondering how things might have turned out differently if, back then, you chose to speak? Do you want to carry the weight of the silence knowing that it could have changed everything? Can you face the possibility of a future filled with regret, where every time you see them, you're reminded of what you never had the courage to say? Is the fear of rejection greater than the pain of never knowing? Is protecting yourself worth the cost of losing what might have been a beautiful connection? Can you live with the knowledge that you never gave it a chance, that you let fear dictate your actions? Is staying silent worth the risk of a lifetime wondering instead of knowing
The choice isn’t easy and I fear I might never come to the conclusion if it’s “better to speak or to die?” because not everything always works out. But I do know that I would rather die knowing that I spoke than die without having said anything.
“I think you should tell people how important they are to you not because they could leave at any moment, but because they're here now, and it's worth saying”
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc52d36c5-cf53-4d0a-aca2-78be19f80753_1280x706.heic)
I never expected it to be so hard to write about this monologue because it’s so difficult to explain to an audience who might not have a clue what you’re talking about. That all you want to say is; “ it’s just a feeling you get when watching this” just a feeling…
You might feel jealousy, something a lot of people wished to hear from their father. Someone believing in you by showing that they will let you figure it out by yourself but still showing and offering support, but most importantly empathy and understanding.
I fear we often forget to take the joy in that we felt and what once was because we’re overwhelmed with sorrow. When something beautiful ends, we’re grieving instead of appreciating it, talking about it with love. In order to get acceptance you need to replace your grief with gratitude and make peace with the fact that you can’t control everything that comes and goes in your life. We risk erasing the joy that made us so happy in the first place. Years later, we look back at old photos and videos, and those memories bring a mix of happiness and pain. We remember the laughter, the love, and the moments that made us feel alive. We see how valuable those experiences were and sometimes wish we'd appreciated them more when they happened.
But why wait until years have passed to celebrate those joys? Why not enjoy them now, even while we're feeling sad? Just because we're in pain doesn't mean we have to forget the happiness that came before it. We can feel both at the same time, letting the memories of joy exist alongside our grief. It's tough, but it's important for living a full emotional life.
From Novel to Film
The novel is written from Elio's first-person perspective, which gives us a deep insider into Elio himself which I think is something that makes the book and film so interesting and different from each other. In the novel his inner thoughts, desires, and conflicts are laid bare. This way of writing is very intense, but you get to fully immerse yourself into his experience. In the novel we got to read what you cannot see in the film. In contrast, In the film you can see and feel he is pain, but some scenes make you wonder what he’s thinking about.
The movie, directed by Luca Guadagnino, is a third-person perspective. Which basically all relays on visual storytelling and the actors performances to convey those same emotions from the book which is therefore done perfectly by Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer Their chemistry and the subtle body language were more powerful than words could everrr say.
When Luca Guadagnino decided to adapt this story for film, the picturesque Italian countryside obviously played a huge role. It enhanced the romantic and nostalgic mood. While the novel’s described the setting the film’s cinematography brought the Italian landscape to life.
Despite these differences, the core of Elio and Oliver’s story remained the same. In both versions, the story ended in a powerful, reflective way. The novel continued beyond those six weeks during the summer of 1983, talking about the impact of their long lasting relationship, while the film with Elio staring into the fireplace.
I can’t seem to stop loving both individually so much. And I wish there were more words to capture my love for this movie and novel. If you have any thoughts about this movie I would love to hear them,
Mila
i love so so much this film..
Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, MonAmour, in spanish. My reading for free 👇😉
https://brujasinnorte.blogspot.com/2024/01/de-refranes-y-otras-muerdas-en-humor.html